WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
