i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
