Old men and throwing up are my life now.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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