are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
