I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize