She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
