just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
His hands were made for my vagina.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize