Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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