P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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