Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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