i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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