"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"