You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.