things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she smelled like a LAN party
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.