this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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