Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
