I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
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You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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