Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...

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(567): View more from Ohio

we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.

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(586): View more from Michigan

May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.

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(323): View more from California

Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.

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(415): View more from California

Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.

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(217): View more from Illinois

he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.

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