So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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