i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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