Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
