Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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