i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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