im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
