guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize