sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize