I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
