thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
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