I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
