I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize