is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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