i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
