Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's shark week go big or go home
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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