called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
