Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
