YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
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im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
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And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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