I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
