ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
