I will die if light touches me.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.