Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Small penises have feelings too.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.