so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.