Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family