i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
