If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she smelled like a LAN party
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Bring me that man meat
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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