If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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