i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
