if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
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All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
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I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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