you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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