Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
