So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
