At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
