just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
