Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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