this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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