Small penises have feelings too.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There r osticjed everywhere
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
