That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize