the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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